just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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