i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
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For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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