i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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