There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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