just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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