i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize