I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize