I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize