Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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