She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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