Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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