omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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