And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just cropdusted the office
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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