i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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