Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
3 2 1 whiskey
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize