sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
never play flip cup with pint glasses
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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