I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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