I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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