I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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