I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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