I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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