The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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