tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize