I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
thus making me awesome and them whores
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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