Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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