so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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