I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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