Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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