how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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