I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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