cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize