this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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