I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm too high and old for this...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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