Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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