I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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