We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize