Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize