At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
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I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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