And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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