Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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