HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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