she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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