Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize