I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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