I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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