so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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