Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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