Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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