At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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