We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize